To all my famaliar voices of care and concern who wiped their feet in my thread....I give a MIGHTY THANK YOU! The wonderful thing about this board is I can just expel my cr@p and have incredible individuals of care peer in. I didnt intend to make my W out as a villian or a terrible individual. I was really tearing into myself for my thoughts of futility and hopelessness.
High,
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Hey brother, you need a vacation.
Don't I know it man...I always kid with the people at work that I am one "mouse click" away from dashing outta here...I could really use a secluded island somewhere,...
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Is anyone in this picture going to a counselor? Because it sounds like your wife is f@cke up from the floor up, still. You're sounding pretty rough yourself buddy
My oldest S and W see the same Psychiatrist...You can be told so many things of wonder but if you fail to enact upon them then they remain what they are....suggestions.... You were being kind when you said I sound "pretty rough"...more along the lines of F@ck'd up from the floor up is more accurate...jagged even.
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really feel like your kids are only responding to the mess they see from their parents. Like, if you guys can't care for yourselves and each other, how can they expect anything from you?
This is the "theme" of everything in my life right now...it entails everything!!! example "If you arent taking care of yourselfs then how can they expect you will take care of them?" I need to pour a littel paint thinner on the old mind and see if I can strip some of this residue...thanks High for echoing my lifes lesson for the moment....you always drop an anedote for me to reassure that I am thinking somewhat on the correct path.
Cat, As always you give me far more credit than is due but I truly appreciate it!
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see you doing so much work and I do give you credit for trying to make your W's bday a good one, even if she doesn't deserve it, for doing so much at home, not every man has to deal with so much housework WHILE holding a job, you are amazing in my book.
I am struggling in every sense of the word but it is because I am trying to lessen my expectations while trying to inflate my aspirations...
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I agree with MrH, your W is so self-absorbed right now and acting her shoe size, unbelievable. I so wish you wouldn't have to quiet your meetings, perhaps you could replace them w/a good C now and then to keep your sanity amid all the chaos?
My W is a tad on the self absorbed side right now because of her excitement with her job...I will not quit my meetings entirely...I still will go to my tues meetings. (even though I wasnt able to go last night because W had to work late again ) My W has had to overcome a lot as well. I need to understand that and remind myself of this each and every minute. Just because she moved back in doesnt mean that all our problems will evaporate...just means that we are both willing to do something about them. I don't see really too many moments by myself coming up in the future because of the plate that is full with all our children. It is one of my first goals....strangle a half hour somewhere to contemplate...But Cat, thanks for dropping some words and I truly appreciate each and every one. Fender,
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As I sat watching the movie I asked my GF, she's Psychologist, what she thought of the program. She said and I quote, "It's best thing ever for any addiction."
I will one better than this...it is a pretty well kept secret that a lot of the AA program is suggested by trained Psychs, socialogists for depression, life problems and such. Of course any addictions as well. I have nothing but great admiration for the AA program. It actually has no holes...not many books I can say about this..When used with DB it is also very incredible. I just am at a point that I really wonder how necessary it is for me to be embracing "sobriety". I am not a "lost Weekend" type drinker...more of a isolationist... BUt that is all I am pondering.....as far as the serenity prayer,,,,my mouth is in constant motion mumbling that one for every reason....thanks fender for jumping the tracks from time to time... Aud, Your support has been what has kept me afloat..and what makes you think I havent imploded already anyway ?
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Love, hugs, and prayers.
I take it all and throw at right back at cha! Peace...I have to get back to my mind numbing dead end job....
) My W has had to overcome a lot as well. I need to understand that and remind myself of this each and every minute. Just because she moved back in doesnt mean that all our problems will evaporate...just means that we are both willing to do something about them.
