Down and out...need hope.

[waw1978]

If I fight for what I think is right and stay in my house, it's going to be a big fight, she's going to move out, buy a place, and try and dominate the kids, and it will be a battle from there on out I think. If I agree to leaving, it will be much more pleasant between us and I think it's more likely we survive. There wouldnt be a financial 'penalty' to either of us for leaving as we both work and make good livings. In the end, if we do D, I dont think either of us could support this house anyways, it would have to be sold and split up. Though my plan right now is to be as pleasant as possible, give her as much space as possible, and hopefully stay here as long as possible.

Okay...here it goes from a WAW in addition to what Sandi said...do not leave your house. Let her be the one to leave. Some WAW never actually leave, or it takes them a long time to do it. This is your chance use the DB principals. I have to agree that not making it easy on the WAW is a good hard dose of reality of what a real S or D would be like. It will be very difficult for her to "buy" another house while still on the mortgage of your current house, being in finance I can tell you the dept to income ratio will probably make it impossible esp if neither of you can pay for your current home solo. She is still required to pay for it too. Check out my sitch. I am completely poor from supporting two households. See an atty if you feel like any of this will be a problem and just get an idea of what your rights are and what her responsibilities will be if you actually separate. You may be suprised at what they tell you. I was! If she is in the middle of an MLC or an A, I can't offer much advice since this is not my sitch. As far as your children be as equitable as possible. In the beginning my H was fishing for full custody out of anger and resentment. Thats all been settled and now we have a full 50/50 agreement. Don't worry about this until she actually moves out. Take a deep breath. None of this happens in one day. (((Hugs)))