Wedding band now gone, hers that is -

[LuckyLuke]

More on the anything to keep the status quo thing:

"Why don't we have a family conference and both tell the kids that we, while no longer in love with each other, still very much love them and will stay with them, in this house. We will both be seeing people outside the marriage. Tell them this is natural and not to worry. They are big enough to handle this".

I don't think so, dear -

Luke

ps. am thinking of proposing the following deal to my craftspersonly wife, who has not much income, a weak point:

o we keep the house, she just as an investment, and moves out.
o She can work on the house when I am not here (she wants to finish renovating the place, having already put in 8 years).
o I only finance that which will make the house more valuable than what the improvement costs. Anything else is her business.
o I pay for her apartment rent, this if her income is less than some amount.
o not sure if I should pay her half of the mortgage - could perhaps offer to loan her this.

That way the kids have continuity, we both keep our investment, she has a free apartment and she can still fix up the place. Does that sound reasonable?