Now I've done it.... again #4?

[nephartiti]

UG, I have that scratchy feeling in my throat and my nose is running. I'm officially sick with sick kids. The worst.

Thank you everyone for your words of encouragement. They really keep me going. Really.

H showed up this morning. He looked decent. He's been wearing the shoes we got him the last three times I've seen him. Today his hair was even combed.

Things were friendly. I gave him the taxes to sign within the first ten minutes of him being here. I half expected him to go after that, but he stayed for a little over an hour. He messed with the computer, set up a family photo slide show for the screen saver. He noticed I had one of the seascape pics he took as my desk top background. He seemed pleased with that.

He also noticed my quotes posted around the house that CaseyMooCow posted here somewhere. He liked the quote and chuckled a little.

Anyway, to give you guys the skinny. He still wants to work things out. He wants to take things slow and make sure things go smoothly.

I brought up the apartment he was planning to get. I asked if he was still doing that. He said he wasn't sure about the money and how it would affect us financially.

I told him it would be very tight. I want him to come home, but not because he feels cornered and has no place to go. I told him that he is right, he is starting school and needs a stable place to sleep, shower, and work. When he comes home, I want it to be because he is ready and comfortable. (I did not say that I do not think it will ever be completely comfortable. There are some things that just won't be dealt with until we are living together again.) I told him that if we work together, we can find a way financially.

This was so hard for me, but I think it was necessary. He is getting the apartment. He called later in the afternoon and let me know he was emptying the account to pay for the apartment.

There is one thing that is really bothering me. I was in the restroom. When I came out, he was still at the computer. Then he said he was going to the van to get some things. His phone, which is usually in his pocket, was on the desk. He grabbed it in a hurry and went outside. He was out there for 15 minutes. When he came back, he had a handful of S2's books and a blanket. I think he was on the phone. It was break time at school for OW. I have no proof and am trying not to let it bother me. I just don't think she's completely out of the picture yet.

He left shortly after that. Before he left, he said he will be coming over more regularly. He thinks it is important that we take our time, allow for interaction. He hugged me. I snuck in a quick kiss. He started laughing and said, "M, we have to take things slow. We can't skip steps."

We were both smiling when he left. Can anyone tell me what these "steps" are? I feel like he's following some guideline I'm clueless about. He said the same thing afte we ML. "I feel like we are skipping a step."

Anyway, I have gotten a little sloppy with the DBing. It's time to pull myself together and get back to it. I don't want to be TOO easy. No more stolen kisses. Next time he'll have to do the pursuing

My Retro e-mail was not mentioned. I will keep waiting.