It's been a while, and I really hope everyone's doing well. I see that Sue and lwb are experiencing a lot of grief again from their spouses. Stay strong, the both of you, and everyone.
<journaling> Had a great, but very tiring, weekend with 2 S's. We drove through the mountains into Tennessee to visit my father and joined a little family reunion. Two S's travel really well and had a blast. My brother and his wife are each really good with kids, and their three kids (D14, S8 and D6) just love my S's.
Although my father looked a lot better than I had expected given what he's been through, it was still obvious he's been not doing so well. He's had two minor strokes following his last surgery, and the prognosis is not good. I fear he's been holding on just to get through his award and induction ceremonies -- I think my brother is right, this could very well be the last time we see him.
Still, my father told me the honor bestowed on him this weekend was the proudest moment of his life. He was so thankful that his sons and grandchildren could all be there for him.
Friday, before I left with our S's for the trip, I caught W's eyes and told her how much I appreciated her for letting me take our boys to see their grandfather. I gave her a hug in gratitude, and while she was still a bit reluctant and stand-offish, she accepted my gesture.
I also thanked her again while speaking with her on the phone driving back on Sunday. She merely replied, "It was the right thing to do."
When we finally made it to the house, and I dropped off our S's, W was suddenly very cold and business-like. She handed me some more bills and two huge black garbage bags (33-gallon type) full of my winter clothes. She wants me to take the remainder of my belongings out of our house, clearing some coveted closet space for her. How considerate of her. Not.
But I am okay. I am feeling so much more detached. I am getting to the point where I really don't care if she comes back, because I'm not sure I can deal with someone who can do what she's done and is continuing to do to me, our marriage, the family we created together and herself. I guess I am starting to realize that I might really be better off without this person she's become. If she were to try to come back now I would really have to think about it. I fear she's lost to me.
