My stbx does the same exact thing. I think they just want to believe that we are OK with what is happening. They want to believe everything is great and we can still be special friends with them. I know it's crazy, but so are they! They don't want to feel guilty or want to hurt us intentionally.
They will miss that interaction with you but it takes them time to miss it before they realize they had our total attention at one time.
I know exactly what you mean atgo! I think my h expects me to continue to lose the plot (I did lose the plot in counselling the other week when he basically ended our marriage...but I think that's fair enough of a reaction). Upon reflection, the situation is what the situation is and I can either go with it or fight it. Additionally I can use DB type tools to get on with things ie detach (which seems to be confusing him) and not engage to create drama (which has been my baaad habit).
Yes thye do want to believe everything is great and we can still be special friends. my h wants to be intimate friends which is ironic to me becuase I think this is what I have wanted from him all along but now he wants to be 'best friends' that sometimes get intimate enough to make love but he can go out and improve his communication skills by dating other people to learn how to respond appropriately in an intimate setting. sounds f*cked up to me and really quite arse about.
I know he doesn't want to hurt me and I know he feels terribly guilty but I just wish he'd get on with his life and let me discover my new self.
