I kind of snapped a bit, Yeah, let's compare violations. You lied to me for 3 months, you shared my intimate thoughts with your mother by forwarding my emails to you to her, and you tell me we're ok while telling everyone else your unhappy. I know all about feeling violated. Do you have any empathy at all?
Doesn't sound like you've "truly moved on from that aspect of things." Doesn't sound like "I kind of snapped a bit." Heim, it's still there. Can you not see it?
Maybe you were subconsciously blaming her from Oct to April, but you're either consciously or unconsciously blaming her now, too.
I'm going to speak freely now, so take it FWIW. You know what? I think if W were to change her mind right now, you'd be doomed. You haven't forgiven her, she hasn't forgiven you. She screwed you big-time, and you screwed her right back. She doesn't trust you: You can't even keep from bringing it up. How can you be over it? You snooped through her pantie drawer not one month ago. And then you couldn't keep from asking her about it. You didn't intend to, you didn't mean to, you thought about it and realized it would be a bad idea, but you did it anyway.
You've moved out, you're moving on, but you haven't let go---of the hurt, of the pain, of what she did to you (maybe what you did to her, I don't know). You've got to get a grip on this stuff, Heim, or all the distance in the world isn't going to stand you in good stead for your next R. You'll take it with you.
I say all this with a big ((((Heim)))). You're so smart, you're so funny. I want to give you a big hug and then a bang on the ear.
