I was just Imng w/ H and asked him if his offer still holds for me to help pay half of the filing fee. He said no....I said why not, you want this too...I asked if he was seeing the girls 2nite b/c I will see him halfway....he asked if I had a date...and said he will not see the girls 2nite and for me to get another sitter....
H is pist b/c yesturday I emailed him that I was ready to start to date...and he was so upset, his response was-F***you, you wh***!!!
In the IM today I told him I was no longer waiting on him that I too deserve happiness...that dating does not mean f******..he said it does to him and that desperation was showing on my face.. I wrote back- no longer will I be put up on a shelf for you to take down whenever you get bored and still continue w/ her.. this is called going on w/ my life, just as you have
H- well then you file and move out so I can sell the house M- you have the paperwork already,lets split the cost.. H- not doing it, have fun 2nite and get another sitter!
You see H is the type as I told him long before when I first knew of the bomb, I told him you will never be happy w/ anyone..until you realize what it takes to make your self happy.. <<I think he has some narcissit& BP characteristics>> I told him to stop expecting others to *make* you happy....b/c they will only disappoint you everytime....
My oldest D and I were talking about OW (I can talk to her about some things). I told her that maybe daddy's big blowup w/ her this weekend was b/c she didnt want to "babysit" my two little ones while H went to the football game (clingy always wants to go w/ hi m everywhere). Oldest D said she didnt think thats why,but she didnt hear exactly what they were fighting about, only heard "real bad" words coming from daddy, like calling her a B****! Yep! That sounds like the good 'ol H....nothings changed..... do I realy want this manic???
So, hopefully some of what I wrote to him today sinks in... if not maybe I can save some$ to start things rolling...
