breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out.
just finished vaccuming and dusting. the house still looks like 3 children live in it. lol.
starting to get a bit upset about things again. I know this too shall pass, but damn, its hard. its funny, growing up, emotions (other than joy, happiness, gratefulness) were not exactly welcomed or encouraged, and I have a hard time accepting sadness/anger when I feel it. I keep calling them bad moments, and my therapist is trying to get it thru my thick noggin that they are ok and normal to feel. still hard. I keep saying I am wallowing from time to time, but one of the things we talked about today is that I am not actually wallowing, I'm just feeling stuff. and damn, does that stuff suck.
want to sit in the corner and cry for a bit. but I won't...need to hold it together for a few more hours.
at least one good thing, i'm not calling him, or even e-mailing him, and going off on him, right? I'm not snarking or sarcastic about how things turned out. I'm not blasting him for letting me down. I'm not railing at him to be a real f-ing man. I'm not crying and complaining to him about how much he has hurt me. I'm just feeling it, I guess. and venting to you all here. so that, I suppose, is progress. right?
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
