CVA - thin PJ's & Massages

[Puddle]

Hey CVA,

Wow, you're still able to work that BB thing on so little sleep? You must be Superman.

Yeah, not sure she is nuts, just...void of emotion? Still angry w/ me about the last xyears? I dont know.

My guess is she's very hurt and angry. The suggestion that any woman should stay with a man because she's got it easy with the kids despite the fact that she's unhappy is pretty simplistic, to me. And what H wants a W to stick around when she's unhappy with him---and doesn't realize she can change that---because she's "got it good"?

So CVA, imagine how unhappy she must be. I'm not really clear on where your W is. You post a lot, but not a lot about what's going on between you two, so it's hard to tell. (That's fine with me, by the way---you post what you like---but I don't have a very clear picture.) Maybe I'm wrong and she's not unhappy at all.

Men are like, "hey, over here, over here, throw me the ball, play with me, jump up and down,stroke me (ego and physically), pant, pant, pant!!!

I think this is exactly what Homer's talking about when he says the most attractive characteristic (especially in a man) is indifference, not feigned indifference but a true sense that "I don't need you."

I know, I know, ladies are going to kill me over this but it is SOOO true isnt it?

That's quite a generalization. Maybe some people are like that, and possibly more women than men?

She is deluded if she thinks it will be even close to what it is now. If she thinks she is overwhelmed by the kids / house now, it aint gettin better as they say.

I think it'll be good for her to get a sense of what a real separation will mean. She may gain a true appreciation for all you do for the family. I hope, though, that she's able to work things out for herself---get in a good place with the kids and even being a single mom---before she decides to come back. Again, wouldn't want her back because you're a convenient babysitter.

I think what often happens, though, is that the WAS realizes what they had, and missing that helps kick-start the other feelings they'd stuffed for so long, so that it's really more wanting to work things out than throwing their hands up and saying, "Heck, it's too hard, I oughta go back."

It is something she has to come to grips with herself, I cant do anything about it now but be happy CVA.

You're right. It sounds like it's been a long road for her to get to this point already, so it may be a while yet before she can see any other possibility.

There is a point as I have said before where status quo does not work for me anymore. That is selfish too, I know.

I think there's a difference between being selfish and taking care of yourself. Am I selfish because it's not cool for me that H bring women he dates to our house? I don't think so (and that has nothing to do with the kids). When it doesn't work for you anymore, it doesn't. You've moved out, you've got what sounds like a reasonable timeline, and it may be time to move forward, too.

Argh, rain on my computer! Gotta run. Take care.