I totally agree that they should cut all contact. I also know spouse and sometimes it needs to be HER idea...But I also realize there are things I must be firm about. We have not discussed it at length. I am a bit leary to discuss things like this w/o a "moderator/referee".
She came home crying last night and we didn't really discuss what was said. I was sitting at the computer and I heard her come in. She came to where I was and said "what are you doing?" her voice cracked and she was openly weeping. I said "nothin'' and she laid down on the bed and wept. I asked if she wanted me to give her some space. She said "I guess so". I said "I'd hold you if I thought it would help" and she said "no" so I got up and left.
After a few minutes I heard her in the kitchen and she knocked around a bit and then came into the living room with me. She stayed a few minutes and then went on to knock around some more, getting ready for morning etc...finally she told me "I'm going to get into the spa" which means "if you want to join me come now" so I did. We just soaked silently. There was some mild discussion of people who "control" your lives, referring to our daughter and the control her very existence holds over all decisions. There was some more "airy vague" discussion but lately I have the memory of a gnat so I can't recall the specifics.
She is still sleeping in "her" room. I figure that will change in time.
I have a shovel and I'm not afraid to use it. Stubby
