OK... so I had posted a few more posts in Newcomers, but I'll just keep posting here.

I think I'm finally starting to let go. Over the last 2-3 weeks, I've had anxiety. I'm on zoloft, and I really didn't want to have it bumped up, so I figured I could ride it out. Plus, I don't want to deny myself all the wonderful feelings of this experience :P

Well.. That feeling has all but subsided. I would love nothing more than to get off of Zoloft. I don't like how it affects me, but I'm not sure I'm ready to be completely off of it either.

W confronted me yesterday about texting OM's ex W. This was at the same time I was texting him and I regret I did it. I did tell her that I wouldn't be bothering any of them anymore. What's funny is he told me to ask her (I know he probably didn't mean it) What's hurtful about it though is that the Ex thinks W and OM are a perfect fit. I told W that and told her that basically since everyone else seems to be in favor of them, I should be on the same boat. She didn't say anything.
She is still keeping their R low key. I'm sure it's because she's ashamed. She also keeps saying things like "if our D becomes final"
I don't understand this... she's telling him that she can't wait to finalize yet she's telling me "if".

I'm starting to focus on more things that I need to get done. I'm starting to realize that I don't "need" her.

Here is something I'm a little concerned about... I'm very good at severing emotional ties. Very good. This worries me as I don't want to cut her off completely. Right now, I can't even imagine what we would need to do to reconcile. By that I mean I don't know how we would identify what needs to be changed. I'm worried that she will just one day say "I made a mistake.. let's pick up where we left off" which obviously won't happen. I've told her before that our marriage is dead. We can either build a new one or go our separate ways.
Well... that's all for now. I've had my D's at home the last 2 days. Youngest has strep. I'll see W at lunch today due to her forgetting oldest D's backpack.

Hope you all are doing well.