Cease fire! Lock and clear all weapons! My last thread is locked.
Thanks, COG. That's what I was thinking all along. It wasn't that I was "afraid" of her on this one, it's just that I know what the cost of my D17's school is, because as you recall, I wrote about getting her into the school last winter. It doesn't seem like the "third front" to a war I want to begin.
As you will recall, D17 communicates from her school via a Parent Portal where one of her recent messages talked about "my mental health when I return" and "the prospects of Mom dating"
I called D17 and of course, against all reasonable behavior, probed the perimeter about "mom dating", absolutely against anything I should have done. I then moved on to talk about all of the kids meeting me in FLA for my R&R in April.
Well, of course I got an email from W. telling me not to make the "kids into pawns" in this whole thing.
She did go on to say that she is not dating, but has "developed a very strong friendship with her boss" who is a 65 year old attorney who by all outward appearances seems happily married and just a supportive guy, but who the hel* knows....don't they all??
She said that "He's been very supportive of her, the kids and get this......me.
He did tell me before I left that he was "glad there were guys like me who would risk it all by going to Iraq. That way, his sons wouldn't have to!" AWESOME support, great American!
Anyway, before she left for Utah, D17 heard W. say to boss "I love you". She explained it at the counselor's office that we were all at, that she says that to a lot of people, including one of our close mutual friends, which she does.
Whatever. Don't know what she's doing with the guy, if anything. Don't know if he'd throw away everything including his law firm. Who knows. Some friends I work with told me it's definitely an affair, but it may be more emotional than physical, as she searches for "the person to knock her socks off" as she put it. Yech!
Before we met, she dated this 50 something year old guy when she was 25.Peculiar.
She went on to say in her email that "her position and feelings remain the same as they have over the last few years"=unhappy, want a D.
I wrote her back, and said I understood her anger over the last few years, but never understood her unhappiness was disguised as anger (unreasonable anger that no one could interpret, including her family).
I told her, I would not ask kids anything about her in the future. But...I also did add:
Now I want to tell you straight up (Because she felt she needed to be her usual steamroller with me" with the in my-face STRAIGHT UP shi*)
"You're friendship with (BOSS) has confused D15 and D17 because they both told me that it did. When you said you loved him, how do you expect a 17 year-old girl who loves her father to feel, with her father sitting in the room! (He’s likable; it's just that they saw him in my space). A long time ago my oldest daughter went so far as to refer to W. as a "who*e", which I quickly and fiercely shut down, but that's what they saw.
I felt that kick in the stomach re: W's assessment of where she viewed our M after 1.1 years of separation, most of it because I'm here (AND I’m glad that I am), but I have to say, the "kick" did not last as long as usual, as I have started to plan "as if", but in this case..."as if" I'm D.
A new wrinkle: A woman I work with has begun emailing me with just small talk, as have a number of others I work with. One of my co-workers has told me this woman is very attracted to me. She is a beautiful, successful and sweet woman, divorced for many years.
I'll continue to write to her, as I do to all who write me here in Iraq, but never will I cross that line into the flirting or suggestive arena. But maybe sometime down the road, who knows...just not now.
But you know what? It does show me, that as COG and MK and Matilda2 have said in the past: I am a good man, and I can attract other women and have a happy life if this doesn't work.
I certainly don't wish for a D., but every day, I do seem better able to squash that "fear" of it, mainly through you guys. Don't forget me guys. I can't thank you enough. You have all been great. COG, you are a saint, man!
