Great post Jeff. I am in a similar position and you summed up my thoughts exactly and how I am also trying to be in my life.

Good luck!

Me: 48
Ex-W: 45
M: Nov '96, together since Oct 93
Bomb: on 10-yr anni - Nov '06
OM
Separated: mid-Feb '07
Divorced mid-July '08
One daughter - 28
XW living w/OM