I just had to post. It looks like you are getting lots of support here. Our situations seem similar and gaming is a very active part of our life too (or it was). I was just getting into the participating but I was on the sidelines and helped H with story lines all the time for years. He's a GM/DM (depending on the system). You seem to be doing very well all and all considering. Maybe there was something in the MN water - I'm in MN too. My H walked out on 9/10 and I've only seen him twice since then and neither were under good circumstances. At least your W will have convos with you, mine won't even meet with me or look me in the eye.
I've made lots of mistakes and it seems as if you are doing really well considering. I'm with you 110% as we are both new at this and I have related with everything you've posted. I'm glad you decided not to send the letter. I did send a short request to one of H's good friends just asking him to talk with H about reconsidering talking instead of leaving. Well, he shared that with my H and now he's pi$$ed about the whole thing. Unfortunately one of my best friends is my H's sister and that has made this very difficult. I went out with her a couple of times included a "girls only" camping trip. H got really upset for "pulling his sister into this." I told his sister just this last week that I was going to back off from our friendship. It doesn't mean it's over and I'm hoping things can resume when everything cools off, but if it's one thing that H won't get angry over then I will do it.
My H filed for divorce on 9/21, he walked out 9/10, so I know what you're talking about. Unfortunately sometimes things boil down to the material. I'm the one that's focusing on that primarily because he walked out on me and I don't want him to "have his cake and eat it too." I'm not being unfair and found a good attorney that really won't let me be unfair even if I wanted to. Unfortunately I think when he gets my response he will react negatively because he thinks he should get out of this absolutely scot free. I won't be walked on. Be strong, realize that as far as the state is concerned it is only about the material things, the emotional side is dealt with on a personal level. Protect your material interests and do your best on making your personal changes. Know that you are not alone. I am in the same boat - no children or any other reason to really see each other. It often makes me wonder why I am even trying if he won't see. I keep telling myself, as you should also that it is really for you and if they see it great. Unfortunately when you are still in so much pain it is hard to see that it will get better. Really, I know. I know.
You are not alone. Stay strong and stay patient (the hardest part for me).
Me: 37 H: 35 M: 6 T: 8 2 cats, 1 dog, 0 kids S: 09/10/07 D started 9/21/07 (I stalled) Piecing: 11/9/07
