Ceberon, Thank you for your post. I derived a real benefit from it. Probably not the one you may have been aiming for, but useful none the less. Your post pushed my buttons so, while engaging in some deep breathing exercises and reminding myself that you too are a child of God (gentle humor), I tried to look at why. It helped me identify the source of some of my anger towards my H. My H has never made me feel as though he thought he was entitled to sex regardless of my feelings, but I have often felt that he does take it for granted that I will take care of all of the boring, messy, icky, tedious parts of life and that that's just the way it should be. I don't think he is aware that this is the interpretation I sometimes have of his behavior. I need to find a way, one that he can hear, to let him know what a libido-buster this kind of behavior can be. Once he knows that it has a strong potential to interfere with our sex life perhaps he'll be motivated to stop. Thank you for helping me to this insight. I sincerely mean that.
If your wife agrees with your view of marriage as you have presented it here, then your argument should be persuasive to her and she should provide you with the sex you want. On the other hand, if she doesn't, it will fail. Think of this as a marketing situation. You want to sell the idea of more sex to your wife. The best salespeople find out what motivates their customer. Then they make their sales pitch to that motivation. It's a quicker method of achieving the goal than trying to get the customer to buy something by altering the customer's motivations. I don't have your view of marriage and sex and thankfully neither does my H. That doesn't matter because you and I aren't married. If the obligation argument hasn't been working fo you, does your wife have the same view of marriage and sex as you do?
You may want to think about what really floats your boat here:
More sex with your spouse or convincing her of her obligations to you as you see them.
