Sooner1992, Your obvious interest and love for you wife comes through in your posts. I really do sympathize with you and want to help if I can. Just a few more thoughts.
Quoting sooner1992: MPT,
She's actually told me that she hates telling me anything because I will use it against her when we get into an argument. I'm definitely guilty of doing that.
Yeah, you definitely want to stop doing that. It's hard when people are really angry or hurt to not want to hurt back though. And if you're got ammunition...man, it can be even harder to resist! Just keep your eyes on the goal of making it easier for your wife to talk to you.
Glad I may have another convert to the camp of "Shared Responsibility Rather than His/Her Responsibility and I'm Helping."
Good luck with getting some exercise. I have children too and I know how hard it is. But when I can get regular exercise, everything about life seems a little easier. I have this written on a card where I can read it when I think about skipping it. I still sometimes skip it though!
Quoting sooner1992:I think it would help if I could take a break from focusing on our problems - but that's easier said than done. Being close to my wife is the most important thing in the world to me right now - and I'm not just talking about sex. I've always been extremely happy (always considered the class clown, etc.) and have never been depressed. But now I'm very depressed because I feel like my wife isn't in love with me and that we'll never have the close, loving relationship that I had always envisioned marriage to be. It's hard to say "okay, I'm just not going to worry about this anymore" and go on about my life. However, I'll try - that's all I can do.
I know. That comment came from the fact that I got so concerned about my low sex drive, worried that I didn't love my H anymore because I didn't want to have sex, worried about how my body would respond when he tried to initiate sex. So guess what happened when he tried to initiate sex? Right, absolutely nothing! Hence more anxiety, less sex, more anxiety, less sex...bad downward spiral. Do the best you can. That's all anyone can do.
It's hard when people are really angry or hurt to not want to hurt back though. And if you're got ammunition...man, it can be even harder to resist! Just keep your eyes on the goal of making it easier for your wife to talk to you.
