I still think you need to make some type of move on the housing front. Your W is cake eating. She has you around most of the time but yet your are not sleeping there. I don't think she will feel the sting until you are totally not spending time at the family residence. This will mean packing up the kids and taking them with you to your place. She needs to feel what it will really be like. This drove it home for me.
As you know what happened in my case, the sitch got flipped.
I think you should either pull the trigger with the flip house or get the larger apt. Being an investment rep I would go with the undervalued flip myself.
I really feel if you continue on this path it could go on forever. Your W needs to start making some choices. Either work on the M, not work on the M but figure it out. You have done too much work on yourself to be hanging in limbo forever!
Me: 30 EX-H: 37 DD: 5 Separated 6/07. MC for months, EX-H quit MC. Divorce Final 8/14/08. Trying to move on with new life.