\:o

I checked my email this morning (I had to cancel my home internet service a couple of weeks ago) knowing I would have a ton of junk mail accumulated from the weekend. What I did not expect was about half a dozen emails from paypal informing me of several deposits that had been made to my paypal account over the weekend. I am stunned. Ya'll have made me cry at work. Why in the world am I being blessed for just doing what I was led to do once I came out of MLC and found this board? Why am I being blessed when I have been such a brat lately???? Why hasn't HE, or ya'll for that matter, given up on me when I seem to give up on me every other day? I can't even put into words how I feel right now. My own blood relatives don't even check on me and S15, with the exception of my mother, whose help ALWAYS has such a hefty price tag that comes with it . I hope in this life each of you are blessed a hundredfold. Thank you.

While I was in the dark about what Frank_D was orchestrating, I was also being "called on the carpet" (again) for my attitude as of late. Belligerant, angry and bitter would have been great words to describe it. Saturday I went to the library and got a book to read. It's the last in that Left Behind series which I consumed as soon as each new book hit the shelf over the course of the last few years. About 11pm last night, I read a statement on the scripture "the effectual, fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much". The character in the book said "mine have availed nothing". That's when I stopped reading and thought about my own behavior and the fact I'd quit praying basically because I hadn't gotten what I wanted (ouch). I had just quit praying pretty much all together but even before that, I can't say I was "righteous". In fact, I can definitely tell you that I was NOT. Anyway, I'd quit praying except regarding my kids of course and praise the Lord for that because S15 fell 10 feet when he was climbing a wall at ROTC bootcamp this past weekend. He landed on concrete, on his back. So with one line from a book, a kid that was uninjured in a 10' ft fall to the cement and then what you have done to help me...I am just going to rest in His presence for a while and take time to remember and appreciate just where He's brought me from instead of griping about where I'm at because especially with friends like I apparently have here, this place just can't be "bad".


Thanks and much love and appreciation,
Amy