Truly Piecing once and for all!

[Heartbroken]

ooops...

and very loving but still could not say ILY - which I understood but now he seems almost forced in any affection he shows me...

I asked him last night if he is talking to her and he said no - but my gut says he is...He did do a ton or work on our house and cars and even when grocery shopping and planned dinner for when I got home - so I know he is trying and maybe I am just making some bad assumptions. I am just so tired of giving myself emotionally to this man and he is withdrawing worse. He gets upset and says he does not understand why but he does not want to fake it with me or lie to me about his feelings (or lack thereof)... What is going on???? Why to these WAS struggle so much???

We are going to our Retro weekend on 10/26 and H wants to do this or so he says...I just hope we are not putting to much faith into that weekend...

Okay off to work - I am tired of my attitude and I need a new one... How do I stop the worrying about OW? Even if he is talking to her I feel I could not throw him out once again - I was much more detached in June and now I get to start all over??? I am so so tired and am breaking down just typing this - gosh I have such a pity party going on I am embarassed and ashamed - what happened to the strong independent HB???? I want her back!

HB