Strangely similar places ( spooky ). I guess there must be some sort of natural rythem to this and we are just in sync.
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I think that's the whole idea, as long as she hasn't made the decision to reinvest, the occassional mistakes are useful as a buffer against having to make any decisions regarding that.
I agree , its like finding excuses for why they are doing stuff that thier concience may not be with them on.
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You handled that very well with the response to the letter, "I'm sorry & I understand", perfect for taking the air out of the exchange.
That was straight out of DB'ing 101 , appologise and validate. The old me would have defended my position and tried to explain to W why she was wrong. I figured it was frustration and anger that she was feeling and that the words she wrote were an expression of that feeling. If we have any hope to be together in the future I need to make it safe for her to express those feelings and frustrations. So in a way this ended up a success.
Oh and anger is a warm emotion ( I think Donna told me that )
The worst thing would have been if she had been indifferent to my comment.
Now the update
I got home today and W was there waiting to pick up D . We had a cup of coffee together and W told me about some frustrations she was having at work , I teased her about something and it was OK. She came up to me and gave me a kiss when she left so I guess we both got through relatively unscathed. In the past things like this would have escalated into a reinactment of world war 2 .
This is one area where I have learnt a lot , without being sexist a woman seems to argue or get upset about how she feels , regardless of the logic. It doesnt matter if the Man has logic and reason on his side , if his actions have made her feel bad ( or something external) then its not about right or wrong its just about feelings.
So if I make my wife feel bad even if I am right I still need to acknowledge how she feels and deal with the fact (and take responsibility for the fact ) I made her feel bad not argue "a case".
