Is it time to cut him off?

[Trixi]

Update-
I all of a sudden realized why the overnight bag comment was important-- he was trying to tell me that he was not assuming that he was coming over for sex. duh.

I showed homes all day (8 hours-3 different clients) and came home. He was doing karaoke and still seeming to be distant. I started crying (3 hours of sleep and a long day made me weak). He asked what was wrong. Sat down with me on the couch.

I asked him why he was being mean/cold (I was searching for the right words) and he volunteered "distant?" and I said "yes. distant." He said he didn't know why. He said that he had been thinking about how nothing is really changing and wonders what we are doing. He's frustrated that he hasn't figured it out. Thinks maybe he needs more 'excitement'....

At some point, I turned and put my arm over his lap so that we were facing each other and touching. I told him that it makes it easier to get past the barriers when people look in each others eyes and touch. Then we get to some of the real deal- he has been too busy with work and school and was feeling like I wanted all of his spare time. He felt like I had some "certain amount of time" that would qualify as "spending time together". Since I denied him sex, AFTER we had been spending time together on the couch, snuggled, had dinner together, talked etc. He was mad about it. He was also disturbed that I showed homes today. I explained that I was mad about Wednesday and how annoyed he was that I asked which day to show homes; so I decided to not jump thru hoops to change things--my clients' first choice had been Sunday, so I stuck with it. We both agreed that we should have talked about our feelings sooner instead of letting them stew.

He brought up that we are taking dance class on Mondays and Wednesdays and I said I would gladly forego those in exchange for the weekend. He said that he has wanted me to help him w/the garage. I made a deal that I would help him this coming weekend, but I wanted to go out at least one night and that I would also want to go out of town in the near future. He agreed. We went upstairs and, well.....yada yada yada and we fell asleep for a nice nap.

I think we are both frustrated that things aren't clear yet.

He had been so distant this past week and then with me looking at homes (and none of them really singing to me)--it just was front and center in my brain that maybe we won't be together in the future. Last night, I would fall asleep and then wake up with my heart pounding out of my chest and my brain screaming "OMG. no no no. I don't want this." The fear was almost palpable. The fan was on and often I would smell him from across the bed. (Cologne/him- not BO or anything.) I had started to go thru this process in August, but now that we've been dating, it would be a whole new wound to deal with....

I am seeing in other forums that people say that the LBS shouldn't move out of the house--can anyone tell me why?