CVA - thin PJ's & Massages

[Nomopo]

Not a lot of flirting but stared a lot. Talking biz most of the night.

Generally, staring makes you a stalker. If you're with other guys and you're talking, you can avoid the stalker label. Personal rule of thumb -- if you go in a place and don't talk to someone for more than 3 minutes, you're screwed (and, of course, smiling helps).

All of this is ESPECIALLY important if you're flying solo (eg, on a business trip). This means, within 3 minutes of entering a place by yourself, you must approach someone or some group. Just have to make yourself do it. It's fun anyway. Make it a social experiment. See how the person group reacts. Have something to say or do. Even if that person or the group rejects you, you gained some street cred with the rest of the place. You're no longer a stalker - you talk to people!!!!

I guess I am coming to realize how my W did not really care to see me all the time. Hmmmm.

Didn't believe us, huh?

[savingus77]

((((CVA))))

[Not Much Left]

I WAS NOT STALKING!!! I was at a table w/ 3 other guys having dinner!!! Just didnt frequent the bar scene. Had to get up at 5 am and nobody wanted to hang anyway.

OK, I STALKED A LITTLE! THE BAR CHICK WAS SMOKING!

2 PMAs, my colleagues who now know, said, "you could get anyone CVA!, doesnt your W know that?"
My pastor saw me at the gym and said, holy cow (no pun!) CVA, you are ripped! I am calling your W and saying "are you crazy, have you not seen his physique!" OK, it was a guy but Ill take it and my W prolly thinks, "so what, he is still crazy!"

C

[Not Much Left]

Hey folks
Haven't really shared much lately...mostly because I was tired of writing about my emotions which don't seem to matter and the only way I seemed to keep control of them was to stuff them so to speak (that is a 180 for me and its actually helps me stop being negative)

But...

Got home from Vancouver, not caring too much whether I saw W or not. She is in a pissy mood which I try to blow off. Affects me negatively anyway.

Then today I go to check our financial accts, which I do as normal course biz every week, and figure out she has been trying to access them with no luck. Pt #1. I have absolutely no problem with it in fact I wish she knew more so she would not wonder what is happening with them, but I had to "figure out" what was happening because she had frozen the acct with too many failed password tries and so I had to then spend time going on the computer at the house to make sure it was her vs a fraud thing.

Then the mail comes with a new credit card just for her. Hmmmm, Ms. Independent? Fine, I have been totally transparent with all this money stuff, not curtailing anything in terms of spending, and she is basically going around me on this stuff. What is BS about it is that it is our money, she has full discretion as it is. Therefore I conclude this is setting up for her to be on her own.

Reality is about to smack her in the face so to speak. I could yank all this money stuff quickly so needless to say...
CVA IS FURIOUS! I don't even want to be around her now then this happens and it just compounds my desire to come to some resolution sooner than later.

I am out with the boys (on purpose) and not certain what I will do when I get back to "her" house. It is clearly not my house anymore.

I know the right thing is to just say "hey, that's great, glad you are looking to be more financially independent and taking this seriously" or some other BS supporting statement.

She is aware I am unhappy right nmow and likely to piece it together when she see the credit card envelope open. She may even accuse me of opening "her" mail. If she does, the gloves are off.

I have been supportive and "relatively" mature about being thrown out of my house, no question asked. It may be time.

2x4s welcome

C

[ItsKat]

(((((CVA)))))

I am sorry you had some upsetting stuff to come home to. I can understand how frustrating that would be. Just be careful though. You are very emotional and angry right now and I would hate for you to act out of these emotions and regret it later. I know its hard, but just settle down, 48 hr rule and all of that.

Take care, buddy.

[Not Much Left]

Thanks Kat

Held it together. At "rub" time, said "hey, noticed you had chjecked on the financial statements...."

Went ok I guess. Told her she should know exactly what is going on and brought up a new investment I actually will want her to sign off on as it involves moving money around and which I think, based on what she said, what may have concerned her enough to check what was going on to start with

C

[Puddle]

Aw, ((((CVA)))), I'm sorry for the troubles. Sounds like you kept it together and handled it pretty well, though. This money stuff can be so scary, for both parties. Speaking as a stay-at-home-mom, it's incredibly frightening to imagine the breadwinner acting out of anger and resentment, or just plain getting screwed. You may be right about W wondering what you were up to and reacting out of fear. Good for you for taking the high road.

So now that it feels like "her" house, what's up with yours?

Take care.

[Not Much Left]

Hey puddle
Went and reviewd my house choices today again, "bold and beautiful" and expensive (although can swing it) or get the buy and flip version of a really nice house but has been trashed. The latter is more palletable from a financial and something to do pov but the former is super nice and I would be "up and running right away.

Big decision, I guess whay isn't these days. Tryoing not to put too much importance on anything these days a al Homer.

C

[Not Much Left]

Hey puddle, did not hit any hot spots last night. Was with W and kids. Thin PJs last nighjt though!

C

[Puddle]

Hey CVA,

did not hit any hot spots last night. Was with W and kids. Thin PJs last night though!

Sounds much better than hitting the hot spots!

If you like working on houses and it would be easier to swing financially, why would you consider the finished version?

Take care.