I'm so sorry for all the hurt you've been thru lately. I really am shocked by the repeat of your sitch. I still haven't lost hope for you though. But I know it's all on your H now, and you definitely need to move on. Keep that door open, but do as you said, stop putting effort in the M. He may just realize how much you really mean to him after he's lost you.
and I agree, don't believe any of that "never loved you" crap. it's nonsense,...they all say it. And I know it's crazy that your H can hold you and give you sympathy for hurting you an everything... my H did the same. I'm just thinking, how can you care for me and yet do this??? I really think they are just sick in their mind, and it's basically corupted their thinking and so they can't even open their minds to the possibility of things working out. it's impossible in their minds. But of course we know better. I'm very glad you aren't going to shut the door for good, and I'm glad you are committed to taking care of yourself and doing what you need to do.
Definitely go on a vaca somewhere for a few days. and if at all possible, I would not move out of that house, but you should find another room to sleep in. could you move all your new bedding and everything somewhere else?
Just imagine how weak your H is right now. He not only has fallen in a trap of one EA, but a second. Just show him how tough you are and how his weakness isn't going to bring you down. You deserve so much more, and maybe he will open his eyes soon enough to win you back, but either way, you WILL find someone who will treat you with the respect and love you deserve.
I'm so sorry how things have turned, and I know that you will conquer it all Nikki, you are so wonderful and I really love you as a friend. I'm really glad we all have been able to go thru these times together.
have a really good time on your trip, and just pamper yourself. My prayers go out to you, and also to your father.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
