My family wanted to celebrate my birthday today. We sat at a winery and had very nice food and the air was almost room temperature. The kids ran around in a tiny meadow and all was well. H usually has the kids on Sunday but it was nice to have them all lazy day. So perfect.
FLTC, you are so right. I love being a mommy every day.
Last night, the late night men come on really strong. They just want to go home with someone. I am polite and firm. I have someone in m y bed still, my S2!
Another gorgeous buxom bartender whispered, "You are so lucky to get to go home to your kids! I want that someday! I can't wait to have kids with my fiance."
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
My sweet D6 did cry. She said she did not want to keep a secret from me about Daddy. What could her secret be? She felt torn. I told her that sometimes we keep things private and it is OK to be quiet, if she needed to tell me something she could. Her daddy took them shopping for my birthday presents. I figured but under normal circumstances a secret would be fun, but because her Dad has kept so many secrets about what he does and where he lives, she was actually scared to keep even a happy secret. poor thing. She feels torn about loving her Daddy with all her heart.
Her cousin7 asked my Bro, "Are we still supposed to love Uncle H? I thought we were not supposed to like D6's Daddy anymore?" So sad. But we laughed at the mouths of babes and took it as a lesson that kids know way more than they let on. we make it a rule never to talk about H badly to spare me and my kids. Somehow they knew he was not really in the family.
I guess H not being at my birthday party was the first clue.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
mk, is your b-day on the 18th? I can't quite remember the exact day. I'm glad you had a lovely time celebrating...sounds perfect, or as close as you can get right now. Happy Birthday!!!!
you are really doing good keeping those men at a distance. good for you. I still love that you try to tell the ones that are looking for an affair to go home to their wives.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
Wow, my H actually can sour a perfect day. I thought nothing could so that was the only reason I took his call. He cornered me on the phone. Gave the kids the ninth degree about my birthday party. He asked them who was there. He acted pissed that he did not get to see the kids on his day. He acted angry that he was not informed my family would have my party on a Sunday. When the kids told him who was at the party he said, "Is that all?" As if I am supposed to have a date or a milion friends? Hmmm. Then he acted miffed because he mentioned he had my birthday gifts. I acted as if and said how that was great and a thank you. He actually had to qualify and said, "They are not from me, they are from the kids, just to let you be clear on that. I'll just hand them to the kids tomorrow" OK. He is such a jerk. I am just getting rid of a bad man. Or a man who will not stop treating me badly.
Last edited by mkultra; 10/15/0702:29 AM.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
Now that I think about it, he should not hav eth epower to ruin my day , my birthday, my week.
My week SUN-Weekened family birthday picnic MON-Kids w/ Dad TUES- My real birthday-Dinner with friends wo/ kids WED-Honorary Dinner for Teachers-D6 and Principal my dates THU-Kids w/ Dad FRI- Reunion cocktails at my bar!! All my friends will be there and hopefully, my exBF. SAT- Reunion-dateless and friendless. I do not even want to go. None of my friends want to go and I cannot go stag. SUN_ Reunion Picnic
An entire week as a single mom, but such an eventful week with no husband and yet I am married. That is very lame.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
Close your eyes...remember the scene around you, as you wrote it. The kids running through the meadow. People who love you around you. The smell of the food, the taste of your favorite dish...bring that back, live it again. Concentrate on what was good, and you will feel as good as when it was actually happening.
Celebrate the day you were born--the beginnings of an amazing, strong woman took hold.
H lashes out at you because he cannot face what he has become. Keep that light in you, be benevolent...even when he spews. He puts it all on you because you are the only one he can. Remember, while they are using distorted thinking, everything bad in their life and feelings has to be your fault; then, they don't have to take responsibility.
Go back to that good place, mk. That is where you belong.
you are NOT lame. you aren't. your H is an ass...I hate him right now. I do.
I'm glad you have some good plans made for your week. as for your reunion, make your friends go, if only for a little while. I made 2 of mine go and we had a blast, they even thanked me for dragging them. I never wanted to go to any other reunion, but 20 was different somehow.
take care of yourself, mk. am thinking about you.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
