You said you are better friends now than before, so that is progress. You seem down right now, which I can totally relate to. If you're like me (and probably everyone else here) you have good days and bad days, or sometimes it's a run of good days and not so good ones.
If we could only see into their minds? I'm with you... Sometimes I'd like to hit my H with a 2x4. I didn't have a good night (or day for that matter) so as far as being pessimistic or realistic, I can relate with you right now. Perhaps sometimes they go hand in hand.
Are you sure the ILY, etc are BS? If your H was having a down day, I'm sure that means he is thinking about things. My H is doing all those things, too. He seems to be genuinely sincere, but since he is still in contact with OW, sometimes I feel like it is BS, too.
Then again, I think about what the books say about the addictive power of an affair. If our H have not decided to end our M, then they're still not sure that we are not the person they want to be with. They may be waiting for us to prove them wrong, but we're not doing that, thanks to DB. And we have to live with that fog. Sooner or later they have to face reality.
Have you set any sort of time frame for how long you will DB? I'd like to set a time frame myself. But am not sure if how much time to give it.
Another good quote: When the world says, "Give up," Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."
