RJ, Thanks. You're right that it's only a matter of time before things aren't so good. I've been there. And I even said something to him about needing to make it through a rough patch in order for me to start to feel safe.
As for the sex thing, this has taken the past year of work. And it's been SO hard becuase of all the damage, as you said. There have been MANY times wehre I've done it despite not wanting to and feeling take for granted becuase I know how important it is for my H. In other words, that part became easier for me as I understood more about how this is such an important need for him.
CaseyMooCow (love the name), I'll chack out your threat. But mind you, my sitch is WAY more than what is just on this thread. My H and I have been on a MAJOR rollercoaster for teh past year and a half. LOTS of touch & goes. LOTS of significant backslides.
Shades, So nice to hear from you. Bogey (my dog) is doing better the past few days. But I know that in general, she is in bad shape. Just trying to spend quality time with her.
Married 9 years Kids 5 and 6 Bomb 2006 H back and forth for a year M now back on track
The last week was a good one. He's been home every night. He's going to his C every other week. He's been leaving his cell phone out in the open. I'm still very cautious.
Married 9 years Kids 5 and 6 Bomb 2006 H back and forth for a year M now back on track
PS, it all sounds great. Thank God for good news. The cell phone out in the open is huge. I've seen it over and over, in replay that cell phone is like gold to them; they do not let it go or out of their sight. Leaving it out means nothing to hide. That's great news. I am praying for you. Hope
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
Hope, I suppose you're right about the phone. It is a good sign.
Casey, my dog is doing a little bit better. I know she's dying, but she's perked up over the past week or so. So, for now, I'm not making any decisions.
Had an "incident" with H today. He called me to tell me he was going out to dinner with work people. i asked him a few questions so that I could feel comfortable that that's where he was really going. Anyway, after a few minutes, we ended the conversatino and said we'd talk later.
It was bothering me. i counldn't stop wondering if he was going to see OW. So, I called him. Here's how it went:
me: I'm feeling uneasy H: Why me: You're not seeing OW tonight, are you? H: What the hell is wrong with you? Why would you say that? me: I've been burned so many times, that when you say that you're going to a dinner, it just crosses my mind. And I would hate to see that happen after all the progress we've made. H: Well, I'm not. me: I just wanted to tell you this is what I was thinking rather than me asking you a ton of questions and you thinking I was grilling you. H: That is what I thought. me: SO, what do we do about this. H: I don't know. me: Okay.
We hung up. A few minutes later, he sent me the email from his boss about teh dinner. I replied, "thank you".
So, tonight I called him on my way home from work:
me: I know you're not feeling good about what happened this morning. H: No, it's fine. me: I know you don't like it when I am suspicious. I just want you to try to see things from my point of view. And while you haven't given me any reason not to trust you lately, I still have these thoughts. I am working on trusting you, but it's not going to happen overnight and you need to be patient with me. H: That's fine. I understand.
Then we changed the subject.
I'm feeling icky about the whole thing.
Married 9 years Kids 5 and 6 Bomb 2006 H back and forth for a year M now back on track
