Out of the Abyss...

[ediemarie]

Thanks Sara. I think that's a good idea. I told H that I would like to dialogue at least 3 times a week and his response was, I don't know why we can't do it every day. It's not that hard and we both enjoy it. I said, I agree, but we aren't doing it every day and I really need to diaglogue. He said he just gets lazy and then tired and it doesn't happen. He said he would make more of an effort. I'm just going to establish the time that we dialgue be right after dinner. That way we eat dinner, dialogue and then have the rest of the evening just to hang out. I think if we build it in to the dinner routine, it will become exactly that - routine. Which is a good thing!


Update
Not a whole lot to report. H and I went to Retro on Friday night. It wasn't easy getting him there. He didn't sleep a whole lot on Thursday night and then after Friday morning's revelations he had trouble sleeping during the day. This led to him complaining incessantly about having to go to Retro on Friday night. My H doesn't usually complain about things, but when he does he expects to get his way. I have to give him credit though, because when I explained why it was so important to me for us to go, he did and did it willingly. I'm discovering that I have a difficult time asking for things. And when I ask and he gives in, I end up feeling guilty, rather than pleased. I made sure to let him know how pleased I was that he made the ffort. I also think this has been an inherent problem in our M. Me asking H to do something, feeling guilty that he did something he didn't want to do and then not thanking him or showing appreciation for his acts because I feel guilty. Talk about a spoiled brat!! I *must* (and will) change this behavior PRONTO!!!

Friday's topic was conflict so we finally learned how to deal with conflict in our m. We both like the process and were able to actually dialogue about his drinking. We didn't necessarily come to any resolutions, but we are at least seeing each other's "side". We also talked about our different styles of dealing with conflict. That was very helpful. He acknowledged that he is an avoider and I'm someone that makes every issue about our relationship, rather than the issue at hand. This behavior in each of us drives one another nuts.

I do wonder what Monday will bring. He hasn't mentioned work at all. This makes me nervous. He can't just never go back there. He's going to have to have a conversation with Mr. Principal at some point in time. I honestly don't believe that he wants to be with OW, but she does have such a strong hold on him. I'm hoping that he can find it in him to resist her. In other words, I'm hoping for a miracle. I am sure that she will have a card waiting for him when he returns to school and in it she will profess her love for her "eternal paramour". Gag! Perhaps I will beat her to the punch and leave a card for my HUSBAND tomorrow morning, letting him know how much he pleases me...

H has been getting a bit more affectionate lately. I've had 3 kisses on the lips this morning alone. I don't remember the last time that's happened...and I'm enjoying every minute of it and letting him know how happy I am that he's sending them my way.