You're right; I had been doing just the opposite of what I should have been doing.
Unfortunately, my knee-jerk over-reactionary behavior (sending her dozens of voice, text, and email messages) was worse than counterproductive. My XW hit me with a restraining order for "harassing communications". She didn't have to do it. I promised her that I would "bug off" if she would drop her complaint. I told her that the money I would have to spend for an attorney was money that would be unavailable for our kids' tuition or our daughter's braces.
She initially relented, and told me that she would see what she could do to drop her complaint. Unfortunately, either her divorce attorney or her new BF (an unethical lawyer who gave her legal advice in order to get me removed from the picture) evidently talked her out of it.
So anyway, would "going dark" still have any significance in my case, considering that I really have no other choice? Instead of my XW being intrigued by my sudden silence, she may believe that I would still be bothering her if not for the restraining order.
Quote:
Don't answer her calls or emails right away.
What I wouldn't give to have that option available! Unfortunately, my XW never responded to any of my attempts to communicate with her. She hasn't initiated a single phone call or email since sending me a short text message on 9/28 regarding the harassment complaint. I don't even get to say "Hi" to her when I pick up my kids anymore. I just call my daughter's cellphone from the driveway when I pick them up, and I stay in my car when I bring them back. I despise this arrangement, but I don't want to antagonize my XW any worse than I already have.
[When I read my own posts, I think how hopeless my situation must appear. No wonder I have been advised (more than once) to "move on" and put this nightmare behind me. The thing you have to realize is that I have my reasons for holding out hope that my XW might still come around. But, if the present scenario doesn't change over the coming months, I may have to reevaluate my thinking. I'm not willing to write-off 18 years together yet, though. I'll be patient...]
A successful man earns more than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who marries such a man.Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
