The fat lady is warming up.... 2

[OldFool]

It's not much...but it's movement. Got my court date this week...right smack dab in the middle of the holidays. OK, so maybe Thanksgiving or Christmas don't exactly go well with divorce, but at least there's half a chance I won't be ringing in the new year with the whole thing hanging over my head.

[StupidRomeo2]

OF, you're wise, you'll be fine. Makes me nervous to think about the day when I'll be going to court

Keep us up to date.

[OldFool]

Thanks.

Passed the one-year anniversary of her moving out this week and now looking forward ( ) to the anniversary of her filing for D in a couple weeks. It's a real party here.

[Confused_in_AZ]

OF,

Just wanted to drop you a note to let you know that I feel for you and it the anniversary is not that bad if you let it be not that bad. Hang in there. Things are the same on my end....confusing if not worse!

Thanks for your support!

[OldFool]

Thanks! Still nothing...so I wait.

[alamogirl]

Hey OldFool and everyone else,

I'm just checking in...can't get to sleep cuz I took a long nap this afternoon. Anyway, I quit my part-time job at QVC. I couldn't handle the customers. Most callers expect us to be fashion consultants. I had people calling and asking me to match up their "moleskin" slacks with a sweater. First of all, what the #!*&@$ is a moleskin? I quit after 2 weeks.

Other than that, everything is going ok. My brother/wife bought a house, so they'll be moving out soon. I'm thinking they will be moved into their new home by Thanksgiving.

I went out last night with a friend of mine. We went to this club called Bogey's. It's a nice place, and they play all kinds of music. The clientele is 45+ so I felt right at home.

I heard from the ex the beginning of Oct. He sent me an e-mail asking if he left his birth certificate behind. I replied but I haven't heard back.

As you can see...I haven't been doing much. I'm trying to stay busy. Holidays are coming, and I'm dreading it.

Well, OF, I wish only the best for you. I continue to include you in my prayers. I wish the best for everyone on these boards. We're in this together.

All my best,
alamogirl

[OldFool]

Hi alamogirl.

Sorry your job didn't work out and I hope you'll be OK for the holidays. Am I wrong, or have you gone through the holidays once without your XH already? If so, I think you'll find this year easier. For me, last year the wounds were still very fresh and the pain was simply terrible. I expect this year to be much better (though not great since I'll still be in limbo with regard to the D and maybe still will my career).

For anyone who may be wondering, no, there is nothing to report. This week marks one year since my STBXW filed for D, nearly two months since I made a settlement offer, and one month since I counter-filed for D. The result? Absolutely nothing. Not a peep. No agreement, no complaint, not even an acknowledgment. Just complete and utter silence from the other side.

While I've grown accustomed to unknowable and illogical things, this has me more baffled than anything else. If you want out, then wrap things up and let everyone get on with their lives. If you want in, then say so and start doing the work. If you're not sure, then say so (and let others decide if they are).

Leaving me just hanging out there is, perhaps, the cruelest cut of all. Sigh....

[Jeff223]

I know how you feel. It is been just over a year for me too. At least my paperwork is moving, although just when I think it is done, W's lawyer changes a bunch of stuff; real minor stuff that really does not matter.

Either she is dragging it out b/c of uncertainty or the lawyers are out to get more money. Either sucks. It is time to resolve one way or the other.

Hang tight. In your case perhaps forcing the issue on your end?

[OldFool]

Either she is dragging it out b/c of uncertainty or the lawyers are out to get more money. Either sucks. It is time to resolve one way or the other.

Yeah, there does come a time to fish or cut bait. Like you, I have no way of knowing what's going on (apart from my side of things). However, one thing I do know...you can't sit on the fence forever.

I have "counter-filed" which starts things rolling from my side, but there are waiting periods to deal with and the upcoming holidays so there's little I can do to move things along.

[alamogirl]

Hey Old Fool & Jeff,

Sorry to hear that your divorce is dragging like molasses.

I met with a friend for lunch, and we were discussing Thanksgiving. Every year, there is a huge Thanksgiving bash thrown for everyone and anyone here in San Antonio. It was started by a gentleman named Raul Jimenez. When he died, his children promised to continue his tradition, which has become a much anticipated event by all in San Antonio.

This year, my friend and I want to volunteer at this event. I've always wanted to volunteer but in the past, I had my own Thanksgiving going on. How weird the way everything works out. Who would have thought that I wouldn't have a place to go, so now, I'm going to finally realize my desire to volunteer at the Raul Jimenez Thanksgiving Dinner.

OF, you are correct that I spent my holidays without my ex last year. It's funny, though, that when I wrote my post, I meant that I was facing spending my holidays by myself without my other siblings. I know it came across as meaning "the ex."

My older brother will be working as he always does on Thanksgiving. My sis will probably be in Dallas with her daughter. Her daughter is due to give birth that week, and my younger brother will probably spend it with his in-laws. They should be at their new house by then.

Last year, I almost spent the holidays alone but my sis decided not to go to Dallas at the last minute. When the ex and I were married, we really never spent the holidays with anyone. We used to stay at home and relax except for New Years.

Life is sure interesting...the way it has a way of throwing obstacles at you. Why can't things be easy? When I was married to my first husband, yes, I've been married before this one, we discussed having kids after we'd been married at least 3 years. We split up after 9 months of marriage! We were separated 1 year, so by the time the divorce was final, we'd been married less than 2 years!

During my "prime" for having kids, I was single. Then I met a nice guy, but he wasn't ready for anything serious. We dated 4 freakin years, then we split up. About 4 months later, I met my second husband. By the time we got married, I was in my late '30s...37 to be exact. We were dirt poor, so having a kid wasn't in our immediate plans. I focused on raising my step-son instead.

At 14 years old, my step-son left home to live with his brother. Shortly after, all hell broke loose. My ex looks to his son and parents for comfort. What do I have...nada...no kids, no parents, just busy siblings.

Ok, I feel much better now. Thanks for listening. You all are wonderful, and I wish only the best for all of you.

All my best,
alamogirl