NikkiB #21

[NikB]

Thanks Donna and RedHeadWife!

Donna - I'll call you if I need to, promise. Thanks for the offer too.

I'm still home - doing MUCH better today though. Planning my road trip for this week sometime. I found some neat stuff to go see that should be fun and relaxing. I'm thinking Napa and Calistoga - use my gift certificate for a spa treatment in Calistoga... then possibly a safari tour at a wildlife park there, a walk through the petrified forest, maybe a visit to the geyser. And of course a little wine tasting, enjoying the gorgeous picnic areas. Depending on timing I may head from there over to the coast and up to Mendocino. Will just depend on time and funds. Feels good to have a plan.

I'm having trouble deciding when to go.. part of me thinks I need to get outta here ASAP to think, another part thinks I should wait until Weds. Only because I have some friends doing a pumpkin patch / carving party tomorrow (I'm a "Maybe" on going to that though)... and I have my bellydance class on Tuesday night. So I'm tempted to wait and go later in the week.

Things are relatively un-tense with H. I realized today that really, nothing's changed. He just finally TOLD me what he was feeling so I could stop guessing. I guess that made it feel less like a "crisis" or another bomb even though it hurt.

SD - unfortunately we're pretty limited on bedroom space, but I'm trying to figure out if I can convert one room to a bedroom somehow. It would be tiny but it may be doable. Our house just has a really weird layout right now. We did some remodeling and planned to do more, so it's not set up in a way that makes a ton of sense (turned existing bedrooms into other things, and now there's really only one bedroom and a very cramped office, the rest of the house is really open.. we planned to add a master bedroom this year, but obviously that's on hold). Will keep thinking it through though.

I honestly don't think H WILL take any action, he'll just keep getting away with whatever he wants while treating me poorly.. so I feel like my choices are stay here and live with it, or get out. I need to think on it more though - will do that on my road trip, for sure.

You're right that the law's pretty straightforward here. Of course, he feels that going with what the law says means he'll "be screwed financially." I keep reminding myself that it's business and not to take it personally.

None of it's come up again anyway. It's like we're friendly roommates again. Polite, courteous, but not married. Still sharing a bed just since it's the only one here, but we're sleeping really far apart. The dog loves it, she's got a huge area between us to stretch out in now.. (hey gotta find humor in this somewhere right?).