I am not optimistic that your wife will agree to Retrouvaille. If she does agree, then I think you have a pretty good chance, maybe even 50/50 that she would give the marriage another chance.
I see your wife as the type who will go through divorce, struggle with single motherhood, and then, only then, realize that she had it better with you than without you. There does not seem to be telling her anything. She has to experience it. If you are really patient, I think she may come back. But it is going to be a long winding road til then. Get the best deal you can on visitation with the children, and remain the steadfast one in the family. Your wife needs an anchor to keep her from flying off in different directions. Unfortunately, she's flown off in the divorce direction now.
