I'm going to edit my introductory post from the KLA Forum.
I've been on DB-MLC Forum since April 2005.
This is not a declaration of a restored marriage. MLC is a rollercoaster of many ups and downs. Even now when things seems so much better...there may be twist up ahead.
Timeline
20-Mar-2005 Bomb Drop, OW waiting on sidelines--not yet physical
3-May-2005 Sweetheart moved to apartment
28-May-2005 OW affair physical, Sweetheart moved in with OW
9-Jun-2005 Sweetheart filed
24-Aug-2005 We moved (snuck) Sweetheart out of OW's. Stopped divorce. I told Sweetheart to break up with OW in person…he went to her work. Sweetheart moved to neighbours because I wouldn't let him come straight home.
Late Sept/Early Oct Moved out, moved in, moved out
9-Nov-2005 - 30-Dec-2005 Home
30 Dec-2005 - 29-March-2005 OW's - With a mini break: 19-27 Jan-2006 when he moved home for a week. Button Pushing all week
29-Mar-2006 - 7-Jul-2006 Home
7-Jul- Oct 2006 OW's By choice
Oct-2006 - 6-Jan-2007 OW's...stuck there Sweetheart said he wanted to move home. I said No…not yet, we were going to break his 3 month in/out pattern.
6-Jan-2007 Moved Home - I told him he could move home. Sweetheart always snuck out of the OWs. This time he immediately changed his cell # and the OW figured it out because she was calling him. She came to our house, trespassed into out back yard where the cops found her.
He has been home since. Much stronger. We saw a counselor a few times, but neither of us liked him...he told Sweetheart he should be divorced.
Sweetheart started seeing a different counselor on his own a couple weeks ago.
Many, perhaps most, would not be able to handle 6 in/outs in less than 2 years. I was not a doormat. I told him if he chose to be with the OW, he was choosing not to live at our house--thus I wasn't the one kicking him out. I also told him I would not be friends except in a marital context. I do not recommend this with all situations. I knew it would work with Sweetheart because he clung to me and did not want to lose me.
Personal Strength aned Self-Focus are vital. These are pavement for a safe path home, with these Forgiveness, Love/Agape, Grace, Peace, Compassion...fall into place.
