Is it time to cut him off?

[NikB]

It's easy for me to imagine all this--but I haven't actually sat down with him to talk about it (and have him agree with me which will feel like rejection);

Woah Agent99... I didn't get this feeling before, but reading this it looks to me like you're doing this to manipulate him. You're already planning the conversation. You've decided to feel rejected if he agrees with you. I can practically hear you telling him about your idea with this hopeful undertone that says "please tell me no, prove you love me and want me by saying you don't want me to do this, please don't reject me..."

If this is a test, don't do it. It's more extreme pressure that you're putting on him. Trust me, if you're feeling that agreeing with you will = rejection, he WILL feel that no matter how you try to hide it.

You do have a lot of good reasons for it and it may make sense, but only if you're doing it 100% purely for you as something that you need. The conversation about it should be pretty brief and mostly business. Don't make it about him, pressuring him, fixing him, "helping" him make his decision. Again.. 100% purely for you.

If you think long and hard about this and are sure it's what you need, it's not a manipulation thing, and it makes financial and legal sense... I'd recommend writing down exactly what you want to say to him and post it here for "critique" first. Then practice it like crazy so that when you do talk to him you can be calm, business-like, and keep it about you.

I haven't actually made an offer on a house---if/when I do, I am sure I will experience a LOT of fear.

You're setting yourself up again... deciding to feel afraid. If you expect it and are "sure" of it I can almost guarantee you it'll happen.