New Thread - question for everyone

[missmyfriend]

This is some information that I came across here and other sources plus a poster who sent me an e-mail yesterday sent me the same statistics, which is very credible.

A significant number (I do not have the numbers used in the stats but would be happy to look them up again) of WAS, MLC, etc., would eventually return to the marriage or reunite after a divorce if the spouse that was left behind was willing to take them back. Month, years and even decades can pass before this happens but it is estimated from the studies that this eventuality would more than likely take place. The challenge is that most LBS usually quit standing for the marriage because of the damage done to the relationship or loneliness so the two are never reunited.

Most of the people outside of this board would tend to disagree and a growing number of posters on the board are beginning to agree with the rest of the world. If a person decides they do not want to wait any longer for the spouse that ended the relationship, that is their choice and they should not be made to feel guilty about considering "no return" to the former relationship. The time that a person gives to "standing" is also their business as well. The biggest concern that many here have is that someone moves on to a new relationship before they have healed from the old one.

What keeps me standing is uncertainty and the belief that what we had was significant and a new, better relationship can be had. If I knew the future, would 10 years be too long to wait for my wife? I don't think it would be. I have so much else in my life. My happiness is not in people or things.


So, in a long way around to answer your question, I do not have experience of a spouse returning as mine has yet to return but your situation is unique. You are a unique person and your spouse is a unique person and statistics are only statistics. Your spouse may return after a very long time. The question is "how long are you willing to wait" and "Is your spouse worth waiting for"? The communcation part is just as hazy an answer.

My prayers are with you.