Is it time to cut him off?

[Trixi]

Thanks Bryan- I really understand what you are saying; and I am sure as the LBS, it would be hard to hear that the WAS wants to buy a home. Just like I am sure it is much harder on the LBS to hear that the WAS is dating compared to vice versa.

We had a rental house before, so it's not out of the realm of possibilities that we would own another. I sell real estate, so I won't need to pay myself a commission on either a purchase or subsequent sale.

If I go ALL the way back- this started in 2001. He decided in '01 he would be leaving in '06. Dramatic changes in me helped to stall him leaving, but not enough to get him committed. He once said to his sister that his biggest regret is that he hasn't been able to love me the way I deserve to be loved. He has NEVER said he doesn't love me, or that he regrets our relationship; it's just that "something" is missing. I am starting to feel like I will never be able to give him that "something".

If I do somehow give him that *something* in the future, I'll come back here. Happily.

Aw, heck. I might be all talk right now. It's easy for me to imagine all this--but I haven't actually sat down with him to talk about it (and have him agree with me which will feel like rejection); I haven't actually made an offer on a house---if/when I do, I am sure I will experience a LOT of fear.

Here's my options/possible scenarios and gut reactions:
a)stay here and wait for him to decide what's going on
-that feels depressing to me. No nesting. No moving forward. just more limbo.
b)He all of a sudden says he wants to come home and work on the M
-that doesn't feel very good to me. I will question his motives and still wonder if the other shoe is about to fall
c)get a rental, have him move back in this house
-that feels like more of the same; just I'll be in a rental. Feels very similar to option 'a'
d)Buy a rental houe that I (temporarily?) reside in.
-that feels scary. AND exciting. and liberating.

I have just posted a request on craigslist for a lease option to buy. If I can find one of those that I really like, that would be the ideal choice.