looking back, my H was in a mild MLC/depression. There was no OW thankfully, he would just sit about and look depressed. Life held no enjoyment for him. Yes our R was bad, **I** was doing things wrong (shouting, demanding, pressing the guilt button) but those things I manage to avoid on the whole now.
I've noticed about me as well ... I'm a massive procrastinater. I used to blame other people/things for getting in my way, stopping me doing things. Now I realise the only person stopping me getting off my butt and cleaning the house/filing those bills/painting the hallway is... ME. I fully believe my first stop in solving any problem whatsoever is me. I will look to myself to see what I need to do, then if I need help from others I will identify what that is and ASK for it. Not demand, ASK.
I am just so proud of you. It seems you were both in depression back then and I remember your self-esteem was low then. But YOU decided to do something about it. And you did. That took so much courage and determination.
That determination was not matched at first by H - that caused him to lag behind. Plus I bet he did not *trust* your changes or maybe he even *feared* them b/c we all fear change to some extent.
