My Wife wants out..still!!

[dadtotwo]

I am bitter and angry at how she now looks at me as "less than a man". She didn't have a problem when we built our new house, drove nice cars, went on vacations and had 2 children. By the way, our D was born after 2 years of doctor visits, injections and procedures(WHICH I WAS THERE FOR AND WAS THERE FOR HER WHEN SHE NEEDED ME MOST)!!! Now, I am no longer worth the effort as I am the man and, according to her, should be the "backbone" of the family that she can count on.

She jumped at the chance to be a stay at home mom and then made no effort to reach out to me or help in any meaningful way. Granted, I needed to grow up and take control of the situation but I was left to "fix it" and since I couldn't, she leaves and wants me to roll over and sign papers to expedite the D.

Of course, the OM "listens" to her while she claims I didn't. What a load of c@#p!!! I don't remember her coming to me to talk in a loving way or show that she gave a damn about our family. She claims to have lost her identity over the last few years. She wanted to be a mother and she is. She just wanted to live the good life and expected me to provide it and when I failed, she took off.

Where was the partner I was supposed to have. I did my share of messing up but when does the blame end??? She feels her life is better without being married to me. Yet, I am learning through C and being truthful with myself that I need to grow up and be responsible for my family and my M.

If she wants to end this then she will have to have me served. Here in NY she has no legal grounds for a D and needs me to agree to mediation or she will have to wait well over a year to get a D.

I made poor choices, I have accepted responsibility and I am learning that I have to grow up and be strong. Our family is worth the effort especially when I spend a night like tonight with my children alone and they want to know why we can't all be together.

I know that tomorrow I will get "have you filled out the papers" which occurs every Saturday when she has her Friday night free to go out with friends, or date or whatever. She chose to be a Mom and it was her choice to stay in only that role. I would have supported any efforts she would have made to go back to school or have taken on a full time job.

My PC says that I will gain nothing by making the D difficult because I can't control her only myself. However, this is business and I will be man enough to stand up to her and not roll over.

I am sick of the blame and how funny(in a pathetic way) that I can financially get us to a good place, but when I falter, I am no longer the provider she needs.