I know - a week isn't much. Detaching is a very hard process. Thanks for the input. Been going to the gym every morning. It's been about 5 mos and very nice to get back. Trying to play the piano with my kids. I'm not very good. Slowly starting to sleep a little better.
Azhira, I read that you got into an accident. Hope you're feeling better. Stuff like that makes me think about having my health, in spite of my crappy relationship situation.
Of course it's hard...that's okay, too. Detaching doesn't necessarily mean that you don't still have feelings, just that you don't have the insane need to pressure her with them.
Yuck, yes, I was in a wreck. A bad wreck. I was lucky that the baby wasn't with me. And I walked away. I still don't know about the other drive. But, thank you for mentioning it.
Good to hear you're going to the gym. It's such a mood booster. I find it helps me sleep--when I work out regularly, anyway. lol
P42, way to go! Stay dark, keep up the good work. Find a way to drive around her house...an alternate route if possible, especially if you have the kids with you. Also do not ask the kids for info on the OM or mommy...PERIOD.
Remember that most affairs and/or rebound R's start out hot and heavy, then after a few months the honeymoon's over and reality sets in. She'll be nagging him to take out the trash and he'll want her to lose weight...stay positive and start dating...trust me, newly divorced guy world is like a sexual Disneyland.
Me - 46 She - 36 Daughter - 10 Married 10 yrs 1st Bomb Date 12/17/06 (Merry Christmas!) D Bomb in January (Happy New Year!) Every other week custody of D10 She has OM who helped her walk away Divorced 07/05/07
Thanks about2bdivorced. Appreciate the encouragement. I just have to keep sucking it up and put on my best face. Things are going better. XW is spending a lot of time with OM. Hurts to think about, but I'm trying to keep busy. Have my girls here this weekend and I'm sure she drove over to spend the weekend with him. Seems like I read a lot about these long distance "rebound" relationships or affairs regarding the WAW. Don't know if there is anything to it or not?
How are things going with you. Just dating? Any word from you WAW.
Try (as hard as it may seem) to not think about her and the OM...if the image of them together does pop up in your head, picture her nagging him or him sneaking around on her. What goes around comes around...
Concentrate on your beautiful kids. Goes without saying the priority they have in your life.
I've been dating for moths...keeping it very light, but my rebound GF in March was 28, very pretty, and had a body that my ex could only achieve thru plastic surgery...she really helped me forget the ex-wife. I've just met a former high school classmate and we are perfect for one another! I am so happy...everything works out for the best. You'll get thru this buddy...looking good and living well is the best revenge.
Me - 46 She - 36 Daughter - 10 Married 10 yrs 1st Bomb Date 12/17/06 (Merry Christmas!) D Bomb in January (Happy New Year!) Every other week custody of D10 She has OM who helped her walk away Divorced 07/05/07
Saw my ex last night at my daughter's basketball practice (I also coach). She looked really good. I said hello and asked how things were going. She said fine. I kept it light, but I'm sure I still have the needy, bummed out look on my face. I'll keep working on that. She insists on picking up and dropping off my daughter at practice when I could drop her off on the way home?? Don't get it?? All the advice from my friends is forget about her and move on. Seems as if that's the direction I'm headed. I keep praying for things to improve.
Ex also emailed me this morning (this is our primary mode of communication). She said she just received a notice from a collection agency regarding a $1700 medical bill that was never paid. She had surgery last spring and I paid all of her copays and deductibles out of my flex spending account. I could tell she was trying to pin this one on me. I haven't received any medical statements from her in at least 6 months. She said that if this bill is correct that it would be very unfair of me, since I told her that I had paid all of her medical bills. I asked her not to jump to conclusions and that I would look into it. I would also try to submit it and see if it would go through. I have a feeling that she is starting to get into some financial difficulties. I'm assuming the thing to do here is let her fend for herself? Only problem is that mortgage on her house still is under both our names.
I've also noticed a friend of hers driving by my house now on several occasions. Seems weird. I'm out of her way. This is one of only 2 or 3 friends that my ex has left after all the fallout from the divorce. I used to talk to her, but don't anymore. Ex used to get very pissed if I talked to anyone remotely associated with her. Anyway, probably nothing, but though I would see if anyone could make anything of it.
Let her twist in the wind on the medical bill. Lenders don't pay much heed to a medical bill chargeoff on a credit report anyways, though it does drive down your FICO. If the med bill's in her name only, forget it. Don't let her pull you into an argument! Only communicate with her regarding vital child related issues...
Her friends are spying. Leave a strange car or two in the driveway for a few days...hell, rent one if you have to. Give Ms. Nosy-Pants something to see...
Me - 46 She - 36 Daughter - 10 Married 10 yrs 1st Bomb Date 12/17/06 (Merry Christmas!) D Bomb in January (Happy New Year!) Every other week custody of D10 She has OM who helped her walk away Divorced 07/05/07
My Ex seems to be really hot and heavy with the OM. I think he lives about 1 - 2 hours away. She sees him several times a week. This morning, we passed each other on the way to work. She complains about not having enough money and now probably spends half the child support I'm sending her on gas. I'm continuing to let go. I'm really trying to make a conscience effort to work on myself and avoid dating for a while. Going to a retreat this weekend. I've read all about these rebound relationships and how they usually fail. I'm not convinced of that in this case. I think they have only been seeing each other for about 5 months, but have no idea when they actually met. My ex is a completely different person from the one I was married to.
One upside is that my kids think I'm the greatest thing ever. Thank you to everyone on this board who has helped me out with comments and advice. It is really nice to know that people that you have never met can be so helpful. I hope I can return the favor to someone else.
Detaching doesn't necessarily mean that you don't still have feelings, just that you don't have the insane need to pressure her with them. 