Sorry about the rough talk. You've got some great feedback, and it takes time to really let all this stuff sink in so the "natural" self-defense response doesn't automatically kick in. You're doing great, and you'll do better and better.
What's up with the letter to FIL? I understand you said your intention isn't to win him over but rather to express true regret to a man you respect. One thought: not the time to do it. There'll be plenty of time in the future, like if things don't work out.
I just talked to my inlaws today for the first time since H told them he's leaving, and was surprised by their reaction. My sitch is different, since H says he doesn't blame me for anything and we have kids, but they basically said first, we hope we'll still have access to the kids, and second, hey, you're both grownups, we're sure you can pull this off just fine and friendly. Oky doky.
Good for you for getting out of your comfort zone and getting out there. How did it go?
