Still standing...

[theotherhalf]

thanks for responding f21, I was really needing to talk to someone here this week and it seemed like everyone left. I kept reading though and replied to a few.

I am taking the baby steps to a better me. I was going to the gym a few days a week but I am not a loner and got tired of going alone. I am really, really trying to get back into my painting. I work a little at it each day, hopefully will get my "drive" back soon.

Something new? No not really. I've tried to think of something but nothing there. I really loved my life before this MLC thing! I lost alot of those desires when he left. I guess now my goals are to find me, again. To get back who I was with some improvements.

As far as things to notice or reveal. I am seeing quite a few things. I think. If I hadn't have found this board I wouldn't think anything about them. But I do recognize things. I think.

H is looking at me somewhat when we talk. H will smile at me. I can make him laugh even. The anger in his eyes is almost gone. He is really spending time with his family again. (they were really close before) Not playing cards with guys from work anymore. Taking more of an interest in farming (although it is harvest time) Spending more time out here.(doing farm stuff). Went back to drinking Mountain Dew(not pepsi that she drinks). Seems to be (tiny bit) trying to reconnect with our girls. Still nothing personal towards me though. No R talk what so ever, no D talk though either. Never anything complimenting or caring towards me, except he has started saying Thank You when I help him do something.

I don't know these are things I see but don't know if they "mean" anything at all. Maybe I just see them because I want to. Because I want him to return so bad...