The role of the OP in MLC

[almosthopeful]

and has low expectations of him.

that really does seem to be the common thread, doesn't it.

AH

[imLIN]

"puppy dog" syndrome....you can kick it, push it, yell at it and still comes up to you with it's tongue hanging out and waging it's behind!...looking to please you at all cost...but one day that cute puppy might just grow up...see you for who you (meaning WAS) are and realize that they don't have to fall all over themself for you anymore...they just might end up biting the hand that feeds it...

Note: I would never ever be cruel to an animal...but there was a point when I could have been to both OW and H!

Just rambling....lol

[ACJ]

Lin could you visit my thread I'm really struggling and need some advice.

[peaceful_spirit]

The real friends aren't the ones who always cheer you on, but instead sometimes tell you that you are f-ing up. Not in the OP's gameplan or script normally.

This is so true and I said something similar to recently.

My H recently said in MC that OW is somewhere he can go and not be judged. He feels like I'm always judging him, expecting him to do better, whereas with OW, he can do anything and she won't say boo.

My H has said on a number of occasions that OW is an escape. That when things are not going well with us, she is where he would turn. Granted, she's been an addictive escape, but certainly not true live.

[ACJ]

PS I find it interesting that you and your H are going to MC and yet your H is still seeing OW (if I have understood this correctly). I'm not saying it is wrong. I'm not sure I could do this though. I think I would want OW to be out of the picture first but then I'm not in that position so who knows

[a new 2moro]

Yes he cant be commited to the M w/ OW still in the picture.....last summer my H was willing to go to MC but wouldnt give up the cow. riiiiiiight. when I told him she had to go , he looked at me like the alien he was and said. " why do you have to make things so difficult?"

[imLIN]

ACJ...

If you would give me a link or tell me where to find your post I would be glad to. I went to you name but you have many many posts and it would be very time consuming to find the one you are referring to...so if you don't mind????

Lin

[Nutty Chick]

[

What good is a bandaid if the person really needs antibiotics? IF the MLCer has some serious unresolved emotional issues, a bandaid R does nothing but distract the MLCer from the issues...eventually they resurface and the MLCer still feels bad, lost, abandoned, whatever. JMO, of course!

Hugs,
AH

This is so true.

My H OW seems to have stopped him gambling for a whole two months...(Apart from the few times my son has told me they have been to the arcades!!) If he has been distracted from this serious issue, then it will resurface in time - I have no doubt about that. Like you say, he needs anti-biotics not a band aid.

he also tried to get me to be OW to OW Infact the last time I saw him he sugested that we all live together. Thankfully I don't fancy living in cloud cookoo land!'

NC x

[Nutty Chick]

Roles of OP:
* To piss off spouse. Perhaps to get back at or to hope spouse will dump them upon learning the news, i.e. the coward's way out.
* WAS has been looking all along and finally found a suitable person (for whatever reason)
* Happens to be there when someone feels they get no emotional support from their spouse

Just some thought.

I agre totally.

My H was bragging about OW till I stopped reacting. He even took my son to meet her recently; despite me crying and begging in the early days for him not to do that. I did not react to that either. (Well not visibly to him) So yea, she is around to piss me off. I am hoping no reaction from me will make her seem less exciting.

I feel my H has been looking for someone for a while now. I came across e-mails to an ex. I think he wanted to leave for a whil - she gave him the courage.

I am also told that she has booked him up with a divorce lawyer for this coming Monday. She is keen!

My H felt he got no emotional support or love from me. I think he was probably right in that thought. It happens in busy families. Huge life lesson learned!

My H OW is also on the rebound. So there is double drama in his situation.

NC x

[peaceful_spirit]

ACJ,
No, my H doesn't still see OW. But our situation has been so crazy over the past year, I refer to it in the present tense. During the course of our reconciliation, we hit some serious rough patches... many times me asking him to move out (he actually still had his appt). And everytime I'd ask him to leave, he'd go to her, then come back and say that wasn't where he wnated to be. But then he'd have trouble cutting off all contact, which led to me kicking him out... This cycle went on for a while. My H now lives at home and to my knowledge, he is not still in contact with OW.