Is it time to cut him off?

[Trixi]

You see what's happening to me now.. it is worth doing WHATEVER you need to do to make sure any reconciliation is the real thing.

That was my thought as I keep up with your story.

I totally, TOTALLY can see me getting sucked into thinking that dance classes matter; or that we are having fun doing this or that--have him move back in (because it's clear that's what I want) and then have it come back to bite me in the a$$.

He hasn't done much of anything to improve our situation, and yet I act like he's the second coming of Christ when he throws me a crumb, or even a half a sandwich. But he's said from jump street that I am a big girl and if I can't 'handle it' I can tell him to F off until he get's his head on straight. So, he's not responsible for his actions--it's up to me to not allow him to use me; as opposed to him not using me...that bugs me.
Here is the analogy. He's like a bank robber who says 'Yeah, I'm robbing the bank. The security guard is free to arrest me if they want.' Instead of saying "robbing banks is wrong." Does that make sense?

Anyway, I went and looked at more houses today. Nothing felt like "me"..one came close. I suppose when it's time, the house will be there.
Part of me thinks I should discuss all my thoughts with H, and the other part thinks I should go find the house, toss him in the car, drive him to it and say "I am buying this- you can break your lease and move back to the house." Not probably the best way to do, but I SOOOO want to be in control for once. To not be wondering what HE is going to decide.