Forrest Gump and his box of choclates.

[littlebitlost]

I should not have expected a responce. For some reason I did

First of all forrest.....drop the expectations. Expectations = Disappointment. If you go into something expecting a certain response you are setting yourself up for disappointment. It is about how you deal with the responses you do get.

. Something in me just went crazy. I went to go drive it off and finally txt her a simple yes or no would have been nice. She responded back with "you did not want to talk when you left her" So I called her and asked her how am I supposed to act? Like everything is OK.

You should have kept driving......
Dont' call her and ask how am i supposed to act. You act as if you are OK. You are taking all of this in stride. You will be fine either way...THAT IS HOW U ACT. Forrest, I swear to you on all that is HOLY....this sh*t works. It did on me....but it does not work fast. You honestly have to make her think you are more than ok with this. You can tell her that this is the perfect opportunity for you to figure out who you are without distractions. If she says 'what am I a distraction? Say yes, the way we are interacting is a distraction and it is interfering with me bettering myself. Throw in whether you are better with her or someone else in the future, YOU WILL BE A BETTER person. She will, whether she shows it or not, probably be a little miffed with the idea that you would even consider someone else (even IF you really arent') It will make her think.

As much as I want to I am finding it really hard to act as if. She wants space but she wants me to be nice. OK. Long story short she told me she felt sorry for me and that neither of us had changed. We did not fight it was good communication. Until she said what if we are not meant to be together anymore. So if I distance I am not doing it right. If I talk I am not doing it right. Where is the middle?

It is hard to act as if....trust me, I know. She wants space?...then give it to her and TONS of it. If she asks where you have been in reference to it....you asked for space and I am respecting your request for it AND I think it is really helping me as well. Make most of it about you. If it is something she has asked for agree and then put in how much it is actually helping you in your quest. (maybe dont use that word eh? Sounds cheesy but you get the 'jist right?)

I cannot stress how important it is that she thinks you are ok. If you show her only positives in your interactions, that is what she is going to remember AND hard as she tries she will not be able to find things in you negative to bitch to her friends about or dwell on. It will become...wow he's really changing. What is up with him. I KNOW....I HAVE BEEN YOUR WIFE.


You have to lead the way forrest and you CAN get that ball rolling. It only takes one. How important is it to you. If it is important enough you CAN do it. I know it is hard. It is a crappy ride and I've been on it for some time. Yet now...I am starting to feel ok again....You will too.

I have an excellent book I can email you if you wanted me to. Dont know if you are allowed to share email addresses here but heimlich and I exchanged a few. Let me know if you want it.

Here's one for you Forrest. Stop running and try walking for a bit.....its a way easier journey if you do!!!