Is it time to cut him off?

[Trixi]

Interesting, my W made a very similar comment about the house. Anyway, I didn't buy for many reasons but one of them was I didn't want to do too good of a job of convincing my W that I was moving on with life. Getting another place says one thing, buying another place says something else entirely.

My first thought when I read that was "oh, yeah..that's true..I wouldn't want to give the wrong impression." But then my second thought was "why not?"

If my H thinks I am moving on, then he can choose me completely; not out of guilt, commitment, obligation, etc. Out in the real dating world, everyone he encounters will have a life that didn't include him before they met. They'll have their own place to live. And I bet that it won't stop him one bit in pursuing them.

If I were to say to him, "I do not want a divorce at this point and ultimately would hope that we would reconcile. I can't continue to live in the house and you are unhappy in the apartment. I get that. You know I hate moving and that moving my businesses causes big down time. So, I am opting to buy a house. If we reconcile, then I am sure you will happily help me move back in and we can decide what to do with the house I buy. And if not, then I have already started to build my life and won't be forced into another move." I think that makes it very clear that I am open to reconciling. If I say that to him and he says 'no no no' then I would be open to discussing other options. From where I stand, though, the stage has been set that the only way for him to have clarity is to be in the house without me. Ugh- that blows.