Are we DBing or what?

[trytoohard]

My H left over 2 years ago.

I started DB'ing almost 2 years ago and thought that DB'ing was all about 'standing' for my marriage.

What I have learned from the books and the great people on these boards is that DB'ing is about 'standing' for yourself.

We were two weeks from D being final in January, H "in love" with ow and couldn't wait to move on. I was detached and working on healing myself when H asked to hold off on D.

My first thought was "I'm not standing any more" and then it hit me "Standing means ON MY OWN TWO FEET! Standing for myself and my growth. Standing on the rock of God's Word, just me and the Holy Spirit."

Standing for your marriage does not mean standing in your spouse's way as they make whatever decisions they feel is right for them, even if we think it's like jumping off an overpass.

Standing for your marriage does mean you need to get your OWN legs underneath you so YOU can stand and you can decide for yourself what is best for you.

When I started standing on my own legs, going my own wonderful way with the help of God did my stand for my marriage really begin.

H and I now see each other several times a week, spend alot of weekends together, see our therapist individually one week and together the next and no talk of divorce any longer. In fact, H told our T last week when asked where he sees our relationship going "well, I know it's not headed toward divorce court. I guess we are working on reconciliation."

I am a better wife, mother, employee, friend and absolute devotee to Christ because of the events of the past several years. I have been sifted like wheat through all of this and now wouldn't trade this experience for anything because...

I am standing for myself with my own physical and spiritual legs underneath me. My H is intrigued by me, wants to spend time with me, is working so hard on himself because he wants what I have, this quite strength and peace that replaced the confused, angry woman I was.