Yet Another Update: Did some thinking about the frequency of my sending txt msgs to W. I have decided to only txt her if she initiates contact first. My theory here is rewarding good behavior. I sent her a txt joke yesterday in response to her sending me a joke (a joke that she thought up) the day before. It was the usual playful exchange that has been the norm as of late. Yesterday she forwarded a joke to me via email. That may sound insignificant to most but it was the first email that I had received from her in over a month. My counselor told me that the decision to divorce has to be hers. If I were to force the issue, she would feel threatened and probably say that she wanted the divorce. Time, as they say, is on my side, yes it is.
Thus far I am pleased with the way things are going. 1. We are communicating in a positive way. She is laughing. 2. No mention of divorce. 3. Each interaction we have had has given me the opportunity to demonstrate change (note: demonstrate as in not telling her I have changed. I let her discover that for herself. People are more committed to an idea that they think is their own as opposed to an idea that was suggested to them.). 4. I think I have mastered the "as if" technique. I am telling jokes, laughing and telling funny stories when W and I do talk on the phone. I keep telling myself "neediness is not attractive."
I have to be aware that there is still the real possibility that a divorce may still happen. I say this so as not to set myself up for a bigger fall than need be.
I always welcome any thoughts, comments or advice anyone would care to share.
"Progress, no matter how slight, is still progress."
