All hope is lost/help

[Evie]

Thanks for all you support. I feel stronger having said what I have to H, but maybe also regret that maybe it could have worked out? I hope you guys are right that he realises what he will miss when he has gone. I doubt it, he never changes his mind when he makes up his mind to do something. I still maintain he was going to move out when he was ready ie when our property abroad was sold thus enabling us to have more cash flow.

He hassled me constantly yesterday and i kept telling him to go away and leave me alone. I'm busy at work, it's a huge distraction as it is. Words were said last night b/c of a misunderstanding through email communication, he said he can't find anywhere to live by the weekend (he wants the big house etc) all sorted straight away. I told him he will have to lower his sights and stay in a Bed & breakfast for the time being, but he said he wanted a flat so that he can have the boys to stay, I replied that for now they wouldn't be able to stay over. He thought I was stopping him seeing them altogther. Well you can imagine his anger (quite understandable) I have no intention of stopping him seeing the boys, I feel they will need stability as much as possible, I have promised him we can work something out and that I know I can rely on him where the boys are concerned. Maybe he can stay over and I stay somewhere occasionally?

I still believe he has huge resentments about my d's & xh b/c of the things he has being saying. He said also that his feelings were unchanged, that life was too short and he wanted some happiness. I didn't beg or justify I just said i'm sorry that that is how you feel and it has come to this.

I answered his emails this morning, just stating fact and hopefully not too much that he feels provoked. I told him b/c I felt he needed to know how much my d's love him and appreciate him and know that he has provided for and being there for them more than their dad ever has, i did question whether he would have taken on the commitment if he had known what the outcome was.

He said he has worked on this M?? How do you know if they have worked on a M? I feel he may have tried to fix 'himself' and not really put us a proiroty, that he has worked that hard at work to provide that we have become victims of our own life style.

If anybody has any insight and can see more clearly than me right now, i would really appreciate your input.

Have a great weekend.

XD