Is it time to cut him off?

[Trixi]

Thanks so much for taking the time Nikki.
And as always, thanks to Dom

As far as him treating me like an annoyance-- he admitted that he was being a butthead and grumpy.

Regarding pulling the plug-- I did not mean divorce. But, I did mean going and buying a house. (Hah! That's not reactionary is it?) I do *not* want a divorce, at all. BUT, if I am forced into it, I want to be ready.

I feel stuck here in this house. I don't particularly like being here by myself-in the shrine to my H. And H HATES the apartment, so it's important to me that he feel comfortable here. He pays the mortgage and I know he misses house. I don't begrudge him that.

I went and looked some at homes. Discouraging. But I did find a real cutie pie that with some paint and new carpet and privacy trees could be doable. The price is right. Nice neighborhood.

Do I *really* want to buy a house right this second? Not so much--but I don't want to be stuck anymore. If he comes home, I want BOTH of us to KNOW that he came back for ME not the house. How do we accomplish that?


I do have one of the boundary books; I have set it aside because I just picked up a book about Emotional Blackmail to help me deal with my mother.(She has been in fine form lately and makes me crazy.) I notice that it seems to also coincide with boundary setting. I'll let people know if it is a good read or not once I am done.

Has anyone out there heard of someone reconciling and not having doubts when they hated their living conditions? If so, how is that accomplished?