IMHO, I'd say you've been carrying the M for too long. Someone has to do the work to maintain the level of intimacy H is comfortable with. But you've been doing all that work for too long. He doesn't have to emotionally invest into the M. He feels no pressure to improve the M.
Try something different. Tell him you aren't happy with how things are. Tell him you feel insecure because his behavior matches his behavior when he is cheating. Tell him you want more, but you are done trying to fix it, you are done trying to hold the M together single-handedly. And then back WAYYYYY off.
Make him (LET HIM) do the work in the M for awhile.
